Good morning.
Walter here.
It worked, it's you.
How'd you get this number?
Emily left an emergency list.
I see.
And, uh, is this an emergency?
There's a horrible noise
Coming from the evil box underneath the window.
It sounds like this...
It's, uh, it's... it's not evil, buddy,
It's, uh, it's a radiator,
And the heat makes noise when it comes on.
No, it doesn't. It... It's very evil.
It's scary to look at. It's... okay...
I'm going toward... oh, wait. Yes, it is.
Okay, it's okay. It's okay.
Everything's fine.
You were right.
Okay, good, uh, I'm gonna hang up now.
I love you.
I'll call you in five minutes.
No, no, buddy, don't, uh...
You... you don't have to call me, okay?
Good idea, you call me.
Okay. I'm gonna hang up now.
I painted a picture of a butterfly.
Good. I'm gonna hang up now.
I tuned the piano.
Okay, I love you. Bye.
Mmm...
Mmm... Mmm.
Mmm.
Hobbs. Hey!
How you doing? Please, sit down.
I haven't seen you since the retreat.
You're looking good.
Oh, thank you very much. You as well.
To what do I owe the, uh, pleasure?
Well, to be honest, I got a call from my niece.
She wants to know
How a certain puppy and a certain pigeon
Escape the clutches of a certain evil witch.
Believe me, uh,
We're already looking for new printers.
This one has obviously gotten a little sloppy.
Maybe it isn't the printer who's gotten sloppy.
That's your signature, right?
You know, we could sit here and point fingers all day.
I've got news for you...
Even if those two pages were in there,
The book still would have sucked.
Have you seen the numbers for this quarter?
Uh, they'll be here today. Oh, they're in.
That frigging puppy and pigeon
Are tanking hard, Hobbs.
My people estimate we're gonna post
A minus eight for this quarter.
A minus eight! That does not happen!
You know, we'll... we'll bounce back, we...
No, no, no. No? Well...
We're gonna ship a new book
The first quarter.
First quarter?
I'm gonna be back in town on the 24th.
At that time, I would love to hear
In exact detail
What your plans are for this new book.
Uh, wait a minute, the, uh the 24th, that's Christmas eve.
And?
And, uh...
No problem. Be great to have you in the loop.
All right, I got every weapon in the game.
I got full health, I got full armor.
Michael!
I got full...
Michael!
It's me buddy!
You know that guy?
No, I've never seen him before.
It's me buddy! Your brother!
Oh, man.
No, Michael! Wait! It's your brother bud...
Sorry. Sorry! Horn honks
Michael! Michael!
Michael!
Michael, wait up!
Michael! Michael!
Wow, you're fast.
I'm gladi caught up with you.
I waited five hours for you.
Why is your coat so big?
So, good news... I saw a dog today.
Have you seen a dog? You probably have.
How was school? Was it fun?
Did you get a lot of homework, huh?
Do you have any friends?
Do you have a best friend?
Does he have a big coat, too?
Go away!
Ow! Son of a nutcracker!
Run!
Get him! Get the green guy!
Oh, no. These guys are bad news.
We better get outta here.
You know what? We can take 'em.
Okay, just start making as many snowballs as you can.
You ready?
Let's go. Aah! Ow.
Ow!
Run!
Oh, man. One got away.
Snowball.
Unh!
Wow.
Where did you say you were from?
Oh, yeah
Candles burning low
Lots of mistletoe
Lots of snow and ice everywhere we go
Choirs singing carols right outside my door
All these things and more
I wish dad were here.
Why?
'Cause he's the greatest dad in the whole wide worid.
Are you kidding?
He's the worst dad in the worid.
What do you mean?
All he does is work.
Working's fun.
Not the way he does it.
All he cares about is money.
He doesn't care about you, or me, or anybody.
Well, he is on the naughty list.
You like her?
Like who?
The girl you're staring at.
Oh, uh...
Yeah.
Why don't you ask her out?
Out?
You know, on a date... to eat food.
Food?
Yes, real food, not candy.
And if she says yes, you're in.
It's like a secret code giris have.
Well, look who it is.
Hi, Jovie. Hi.
Oh, uh, this is Michael.
I'm his brother.
Hi.
So, what are you doing here?
Did gimbel's give you your job back?
No. But things worked out pretty good.
They gave mea restraining order.
Well, um, you should probably get outta here.
Ho ho ho!
But... I really wanted to see you,
And... and I think you're beautiful, and I, um...
I feel really warm when I am around you,
And, um, my tongue swells up.
So...
Do you wanna go eat food?
Do I... do I wanna eat food?
Mm-hmm.
You know, uh, the code... food.
Well, I just had my lunch break.
Oh, okay. I understand.
But I'm free on Thursday.
Thursday! Thursday!
Come on. That'd be great.
All right.
Was that okay?
You did great, man.
What should we put on it first?
Lights! Oh, good.
And then, after that?
Ornaments! Ornaments, okay.
What the hell's that?
A Christmas tree.
A Christmas tree?
Buddy chopped it down in the park.
Emily.
I don't know what you're making such a big deal about.
They were just having a little fun.
Oh, fun? So felonies are fun now?
I thought, see, felonies were felonies.
Okay, the tree thing was bad.
I'll get him to plant another one.
But at least Michael is happy for once.
What, uh, what's that supposed to mean?
Well, I don't think it's any secret, Walter,
That you haven't exactly been there for him.
I'll tell you what, why don't we just
Pull him outta school and let the, uh,
Deranged elf man raise him?
Then they can have lots of fun committing felonies.
How are we gonna get the star on top?
I got it.
I mean, what are we gonna do?
We can't... we can't leave him alone here.
He's gonna destroy the place.
Why don't you, um...
Why don't you take off tomorrow?
You know, and you could stay home and watch him?
Oh, no. No, I can't stay home tomorrow,
I have a budget meeting tomorrow.
Well, honey, I can't take off,
I'm one... one bad pitch away
From getting fired... one.
Well, I tell you what, I have an idea then.
Why don't you take buddy to work with you?
Hey, Walter. Morning, jack.
Morning, jack.
Oh, good morning, Mr. Hobbs.
Good morning, Sarah. Good morning, Sarah.
That's a nice purple dress. It's very purple-y
Francisco. How's it going, Mr. Hobbs?
Francisco, that's fun to say..." Francisco."
Hi! Hi.
Do you remember me?
I do. I didn't recognize you.
I know, I'm in work clothes.
Thank you, Deborah.
Thanks, deb.
Deb, you have such a pretty face.
You should be on a Christmas card.
You just made my day.
Eww.
Buddy. Hmm?
You don't have to drink that.
Thank you.
Francisco.
Buddy?
Just... just a little.
Yes, bud?
Why is your name on the desk?
I bought the desk.
My name's there so no one steals it.
That's a joke, isn't it, dad?
Yeah, buddy, that's a joke.
So, what are we gonna build?
No, uh, we don't do
That kind of work here, pal.
Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?
Put that down. Hello?
Hello? Dial tone
Please, don't touch anything.
Sorry.
Hey...
Bud, have you... have you...
Have you ever seen a mailroom?
A mailroom? No.
No? No.
Oh, I mean, wow.
Wow... listen, it's a place where mail
From all over the worid comes,
Uh-huh. And they sort it out there, see?
And you can touch it all,
And they put it in these shiny bins.
Shiny bins? Right.
What do ya think? It sounds great.
Good.
Can we go there?
Well, um...
I gotta work here, maybe... maybe you can work there.
Okay, I'll work there.
Oh, I don't think this is the place
My dad was talking about.
Is there a different mailroom?
No. This is the only one.
It's not very shiny.
Now... over here's the trench.
All the mail comes out that shooter.
Scan and find the floor each piece is moving to.
Put it in a canister
And shove it up the tube with the same number.
You got that?
I think so.
This place reminds me of Santa's workshop.
Except it smells like mushrooms,
And everyone looks like they wanna hurt me.
Uh, greenway's coming in tomorrow,
So, what... what do we got?
Well, Morris and I have been brainstorming,
And we've come up with what I think
Is a pretty big idea.
Great, what?
You're gonna love it, it's fantastic.
What?
Okay, picture this...
We bring in miles finch.
The miles finch?
The golden ghost.
We bring him in!
He's written more classics than dr. Seuss.
I tain't gonna be easy,
But I think it's worth a shot.
My two top writers, my crack team, my fun squad...
You came in here pitching me
The idea of hiring another writer?
Yeah.
Miles finch.
I like it. Chuckles
I like it.
Then I traveled through the seven levels
Of the candy cane forest
And past the sea of swirly-twirly gumdrops.
Ooh!
Wow... it's sucky.
Ohh, it's wonderful. Yes!
That is marvelous how that...
Oh!
Oh, it's very sucky.
It's very... sucky.
Whoo.
So, how'd you get here?
Work release.
Mm.
Oh, syrup and coffee?
Why didn't I think of that? Can I try some?
Be my guest.
Very generous of you.
Mmm. I love syrup.
Ohh, I love it.
Mmm...
You know, I know I sound like a broken record,
But we are buddies.
You're my best friend, that's it.
You're my best friend.
You know, buddy, nobody around here listens to me.
I got really good ideas. Yeah? I believe it.
I know, I'm right, I listen to you.
You have great ideas.
I just try to go with the flow, you know?
Good, you go with the flow.
Yeah. Go with the flow.
No, I gotta get out of the flow.
Well, then get out of the flow.
I'm in the flow, that's what got me here.
I gotta... I'm 26 years old, I got nothing to show for it.
You're young. You're so young.
My papa... yeah?
He didn't make master tinker till he was 490,so...
Four-hundred and ninety? Yeah.
Tickle fight! Tickle fight!
My favorite book of yours has gotta be Gus' pickles.
It's existential, yet it's so accessible.
Uh, Mr. Finch, uh, Eugene Dupris here.
It's a thrill just to be talking to you
On our speakerphone.
Miles, um, so, what do you think?
Can you fly in tomorrow?
I'll give you five hours tomorrow,
Not a minute more.
Oh, that's... that's great.
I'd like a black s500to receive me at the airport.
I need the interior of that car
To be 71 degrees exactly.
We can do that. Deborah: Mr. Hobbs?
There's a situation downstairs.
I'm sorry, what?
No, hold on, miles. Deb, hang up.
I do not hold. Do not put me on hold.
We have a problem in the mailroom.
What's going on?
Don't speak... Deborah, hang up!
That's it, I'm gone. Miles!
I'll be there tomorrow... 71 degrees.
Sir, chuck in the mailroom
Needs to talk to you.
Chuck... what, chuck?
I mean, what could be going on down there
That's so important you had to interrupt me, what?
Whoomp, there it is! A little louder
Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all
Whoomp! There it is
Upside down and inside out hey!
I'm 'bout to show all you folks
What it's all about hey!
Time for me to get on the mike
And make this mother of a party hype
I'm taking you back to the old school
'cause I'm an old fool who's so cool
If you wanna get down, I'm gonna show you the way
Whoomp, there it is, let me hear you say
Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all
Whoomp! There it is a little louder
Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all
Whoomp, there it is!
Coming.
Hi.
Wow.
You look miraculous.
So do you.
Thank you.
What would you like to do?
I got some ideas.
Just reach out in front of you and and take a sip.
Don't look. There you go.
Well?
It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee.
No.
It is a crappy cup of coffee.
No, it's the worid's best cup of coffee.
The trick is to not get your arm caught in the door!
Also, never close your eyes' cause then
Okay, when you feel comfortable, you just jump in!
what are you doing?
I'm skipping. I'm skipping. I'm skipping.
Wait, wait, wait... one more, one more.
Now, look at the size of this one.
Come with me.
Watch out.
Yellow ones don't stop.
The yellow ones don't stop.
Wow... that's a big one.
I'm sorry.
You missed.
What do you mean I missed?
You missed.
Miles finch.
All right, let's do this.
Miles, I'm so happy you could come Uh...
Yeah.
I'm Walter Hobbs. Yeah, let's get the, uh...
Taken care of so we can get started here.
Here you go.
Great.
All right... clears throat
What have you guys got so far?
Go ahead.
Uh...
We were thinking, uh, something like this, uh...
We open on a young tomato.
He's had some tough times down at the farm
With, you know, a rabbit, and...
No. No tomatoes...
Too vulnerable.
Kids, they're already vulnerable.
No, you see? I... I told you guys.
I told them the very same thing...
And no farms.
Every body's pushing small town rural.
A farm book would just be white noise.
What about this?
Uh, a tribe of asparagus children,
But they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells.
Apparently, all we have is vegetables.
I have no time, so, you know,
If you've got a story here...
I've got about five or six great starts here.
I've got one idea that I'm especially
Psyched out of my mind about.
You know, it's one of those ideas
Where you're just like, uh...
Yes!
Whoa!
Uh, great, c-could we hear it?
I'll start with the cover. Picture this... you got, uh
Dad! I'm in love, I'm in love,
And I don't care who knows it!
Buddy, not now, uh,
Can you please go back to the... to the pit?
I'll come and visit you in a little while, okay?
I didn't know you had elves working here.
Oh... boy, you're... you're hilarious, my friend.
He doesn't, uh... get back to
The story, please. All right, okay.
So, on the cover above the title...
Does Santa know that you left the workshop?
You know, we're all laughing our heads off.
Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here?
Buddy... go back to the basement.
Hey, jack weed,
I get more action in a week
Than you've had your entire life.
I've got houses in I.e., Paris, and Vail,
Oh. Each one of them
with a 70-inchplasma screen.
So, I suggest you wipe
That stupid smile off your face
Before I come over there and smack it off!
You feeling strong, my friend?!
Call me elf one more time!
He's an angry elf.
Look at you.
Ow! Hey, what...
Aah!
I wasn't ready for that.
Aah! Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey! Whoa!
Ooh...
Call me elf one more time!
Call me elf!
You're an elf.
Miles, I'm sorry, he... he thinks he's an elf.
Listen, miles...
Listen, miles! Door slams
He must be a South Pole elf.
You get the hell outta here.
Where do you want me to go?
I don't care where you go.
I don't care that you're an elf!
I don't care that you're nuts!
I don't care that you're my son!
Get out of my life now!
Hi, it's me.
I really can't talk right now.
Well, just tell me how the pitch went.
I'm gonna be a little later than I thought, okay?
Well, don't be too late, Walter,
It's Christmas Eve.
Walter... wait, um.
Honey, I gotta go, okay? Love ya.
Oh, say hi to buddy.
What? Walter, breakthrough.
We found this in the conference room.
What is it?
It's miles finch's notebook.
This thing is chock full of genius ideas.
I mean, look at that.
And his best idea is about a peach that lives on a farm.
What's more vulnerable than a peach?
What, uh, what do we do?
I think we should go with the first pitch... it's genius.
Uh, how much time we got?
We got, like, 45 minutes. Well, come on, let's, uh,
Try to get a storyboard or something ready.
Come on, let's do it. Just try.
No, you can't sit down and get a storyboard ready.
Go and get a storyboard ready.
Oh, boy! Go.
"I'm sorry I ruined your lives
"And crammed 11 cookies into the vcr.
"I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.
I'll never forget you. Love, buddy."
God...
Hey, buddy.
Buddy?
As you know, we need a big launch fast
To get the company back on track.
So, I think I speak for my fellow board members
When I say... this better be good.
Before I get into the story, uh,
Let me start with the cover, okay?
Now, just picture this...
Dad! I gotta talk to you.
Walter: Michael, what is it?
Buddy ran away.
What? He... he left a note.
I'm scared, dad, he's gone.
Uh, let me just finish this meeting,
And then, um, we'll figure it out, okay?
Figure out what? Buddy cares about everybody.
All you care about is yourself.
Hey, Michael.
Wait.
We're gonna have to reschedule this, uh, Mr. Greenway.
We don't have time to reschedule.
I wanna hear the damn thing now.
Son, you'll have to wait.
No, d-don't tell my kid what to do, uh...
Can't... can't we do this another time, Mr. Greenway?
I flew in just to hear this pitch,
And I intend to.
It's gonna have to wait.
If you wanna keep your job, Hobbs,
You will pitch me this book right now.
Well... up yours.
Yeah, up yours. Hey.
Hobbs... Hobbs!
Hobbs, you walk out of here,
And... and you're finished at greenway!
You're finished!
I don't belong anywhere.
Buddy!
Buddy, where are you?!
Prancer, pull! Come on! Come on!
Vixen, up, up!
Santa?
Come on, you can do it.
Pull up! Pull up!
Dad! What?
Michael, where you going?
Michael!
Santa.
Back off, slick. You'll scare the deer.
Buddy, is that you?
Are you okay?
Boy, am I glad to see you.
The Claus meter suddenly just dropped down to zero.
There's just no Christmas spirit anymore.
And then the strain was too Much...
The engine broke free of her mounts.
I need an elf's help.
I... I'm not an elf, Santa.
I... I can't do anything right.
Buddy, you're more of an elf than anyone I ever met,
And the only one who I would want
Working on my sleigh tonight.
Really? Really.
Will you fix it for me, buddy?
I'll try. Papa taught me how.
You gotta find it first.
It dropped off the sleigh back over there a ways.
The engine? The engine, yeah.
Go, buddy. Go, Mr. Elf!
I'm standing here outside central park
Where it is unclear exactly what has happened.
What we do know is that authorities
Have closed the park
And are in the process of clearing it.
The only thing that people can seem to agree on here
Is that they saw something fall from the sky.
I've got an eyewitness with me
Who claims to have seen the whole thing firsthand.
What did you actually see?
You know, I was walking around and I saw this thing,
And my daughter actually pointed it out to me.
Oh, your daughter saw it?
Sweetheart, can you tell me
What you saw falling out of the sky?
It was Santa's sleigh!
Santa's sleigh, well, there you have it.
Santa's in Manhattan.
Sorry to interrupt your first big news story, charlotte,
But New York one has just received
Some exclusive amateur news footage
That you just might Anna follow up on.
There seems to be a strange man dressed as an elf
Wandering through central park.
Now, I don't know if this is the kind of hard-hitting news
You're used to covering in buffalo, charlotte,
Oh, my god. But here at New York one,
News is top priority.
What the heck...?
Hey!
You found it. Buddy!
I need to tell you something.
No, no. Buddy, there's something
I have to tell you right now.
Um, I didn't mean anything I said back there, not word.
I know you may be a little, um, um...
Uh, chemically imbalanced,
But you've been right about a lot of things.
I... I don't want you to leave.
You're my son, and I... love you.
Uh, buddy, uh...
What was it you wanted to tell me?
Oh, right. Come with me.
Right. Come on.
I'm herewith another eyewitness
Who has his own versión of what happened.
Sir, what did you see?
I think you're great, charlotte.
Uh, I saw something fall from the sky
Right into the middle of central park.
I mean, you're a great news lady.
Thank you.
Could you tell me a bit more?
About what you saw fall from the sky?
Yeah, yeah. Your eyes tell the story,
That's what I love about you. You've got a great mouth.
The thing just dropped in the middle of central park.
It was amazing, and everybody's, like, going crazy.
Dick, uh, according to authorities,
The area has been cleared.
Only the central park rangers now remain in the park.
These forces are highly trained,
But rarely see action.
Some have accused them of being too gung ho
When called into duty,
And their controversial crowd control tactics
At the Simon and Garfunkel concert in '85
Are still under investigation.
I knew you'd find it, Mr. Elf!
Slap it on real quick, we've got to get going.
That ta boy.
So, uh... you're, uh...
Santa Claus. Right.
Would you mind taking this to your firstborn?
Sure.
Um, uh, and my firstborn, he's an elf?
Yes. Actually, I'm adopted.
Uh, Michael, would you open this hatch for me, please?
That ta boy, thank you.
So, you're really Santa Claus?
You never can tell, kid.
Tell me, Michael,
What do you want for Christmas?
I wanted a skateboard.
Oh, not just skateboard.
Arealhuf board. Looked here.
Looked here...
How do you like them apples?
Go look and see.
Whoa.
What happened?
You made my sleigh fly.
What do you mean?
Well, before the turbine days,
This baby used to run solely on Christmas spirit.
You believed in me. You made my sleigh fly.
Hold it... if you're really Santa Claus,
Then we can just get some news cameras in here,
And everyone will believe in you,
Then your sleigh will fly, right?
Christmas spirit is about believing, not seeing.
If the whole worid saw me, all would be lost.
The paparazzi have been trying to nail me for years.
Hey, look!
Oh, no.
It's the central park rangers.
Dad, Michael... I got a plan.
Santa: Whoa, wait! Wait, Michael... my list!
You bring that list back right now, you hear me?!
Come on, give me your hat and coat.
Mrs. Claus made them for me.
Hey! Hey, here I am!
Ho ho ho!
Hey, ho ho ho! Hey! Hey!
Excuse me. Thank you. Excuse me.
So the authorities have not discovered
Any reindeer in the park?
No, no reindeer. Sleigh bells?
No, no sleigh bells, either.
Elves? Excuse me, please.
None of that, we really just need everyone...
It's him, it's the real Santa!
His sleigh won't fly,' cause nobody believes in him!
Charlotte: Did you see something in the park?
Everyone out there,
Santa needs us to believe, I can prove he's real.
Look, this is his list!
Okay... well, further confirmation
That there has been a Santa sighting tonight.
We have the naughty and nice list.
Lynn Kessler wants a power puff giris play set.
Mark weber wants an electric guitar.
Yes!
Carolyn Reynolds wants a Suzy- talks-a-lot.
Thanks, buddy.
Dirk Lawson wants
A day of pampering at burke Williams spa.
Stan Tobias wants a power pumper water pistol.
Must be another dirk Lawson.
Dave keckler wants some Nike shocks.
Okay, uh, well, obviously we have
A new development in the story, uh,
A confirmation that Santa must have been sighted
Because we have his book right here.
what's your name?
Uh, I'm charlotte den on, New York one.
"D," "D..."
Charlotte den on wants tiffany engagement ring
And for her boyfriend to stop dragging his feet
And commit already.
We've got power!
Charlotte... charlotte?
Hey, turn the cameras back on!
Who told you to say that?
It's the real Santa.
We need to get these cameras back on.
He needs our help!
Hey, Michael, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
But buddy, he's... he's in the park with Santa,
The sleigh won't fly
'cause there's no Christmas spirit.
Michael! Mom!
Michael! Ohh!
Are you okay? I'm fine.
The best way to spread Christmas cheer
Is singing loud for all to hear.
Buddy... better get going, get in now!
Santa, I'm not done with the engine yet!
Can't wait!
On, dasher, on, dancer...
I'm not done with the engine!
That's okay.
You get started, I'll catch up!
You know, he wasn't lying.
Merry Christmas.
Santa, I can't...
Stop messing around and get in!
Aah!
Santa, why are they chasing us?!
I put the mon the naughty list,
And they never forgave me.
You better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout, I'm telling you why
Santa Clausis coming' to town
Yaah, yaah, yaah!
Up, up, pull up!
Buddy! We need power, we're gonna crash!
He's making a list, Checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice
Santa clausis coming' to town
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake
Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout, I'm telling you why
Santa Clausis coming to town
Aah!
You can do it! Come on, dancer.
That's my boy.
Pull, cupid! Aah!
Pull, dasher!
I'm getting too old for this job.
Now!
The engine's gone!
We're toast!
Well, still no sign of Santa,
But some spontaneous Christmas caroling
Has broken out
Right herein front of central park.
Let's have a listen in.
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows if you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake
Hey!
You better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout, I'm telling you why
Come on!
Santa clausis coming' to town
Santa: Just a little more!
Hal-yah!
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've
Wait... you're not singing.
Yes, I am.
No, you're not. You're just moving your lips.
Santa!
Michael, please, what's the big deal?
Dad.
I'm telling you why
Santa clausis coming to town
Oh! Ha ha ha!
Now, my beauties!
Bye-bye.
Just like the old days!
Charlotte? Charlotte?
Well, I guess we'll never know for sure
What happened this Christmas Eve?
In central park.
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Ho ho ho!
And so, with a little help,
Buddy managed to save Christmas.
And his spirit saved a lot of other People, too.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
Walter started his own independent publishing company.
His first book was written by a brand new,
Critically acclaimed children's author.
The book was elf...
A, uh, fictional story
About an adopted elf named buddy
Who was raised in the North Pole?
Went to New York, ate spaghetti,
Worked in a shiny mailroom,
And eventually saved Christmas.
"First, I traveled through the seven levels
"Of the candy cane forest,
"Past the sea of twirly-swirly gumdrops,
And then, I walked through the Lincoln tunnel."
And as for me, I can't complain.
Buddy comes up to visit from time to time.
In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is parson brown
Oh, thank you, Jovie. That's very sweet of you.
You're welcome, papa.
But you can do the job when you're in town
Hey, Suzie.
Come here, little one.
When it snows, ain't it thrilling?
Papa wants to see you.
Though your nose get a little chilling
Buddy...
We'll frolic and play buddy... buddy...
The Eskimo way, walking in a winter wonderland
In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is parson brown
He'll say, are you married, we'll say no, man
But you can do the job when you in town, brother
Later on, we'll conspire
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid the plans That we made
Walking in a winter wonderland
I really can't stay
But, baby, it's cold outside
I've got to go 'way
But, baby, it's cold outside
This evening has been
Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice
I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry
Beautiful, what's your hurry?
And father will be pacing the floor
Listen to that fireplace roar
So, really, I'd better scurry
Beautiful, please don't hurry
Well, maybe just a half a drink more
Put some records on while I pour
The neighbors might think
Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink?
No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how
Your eyes are like starlight now
To break the spell
I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir
Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried
What's the sense of hurting my pride?
I really can't stay
Baby, don't hold out
Ah, but it's cold outside
I simply must go
But, baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no
But, baby, it's cold outside
This welcome has been
I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm
Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious
Gosh, your lips look delicious
My brother will be there at the door
Waves upon tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious
Oh, your lips look delicious
Well, maybe just a cigarette more
Never such a pleasure before
I've got to get home
But, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb
It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand
I thrill when you touch my hand
But don't you see
How can you do this thing to me?
There's bound to be talk tomorrow
Think of my lifelong sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied
If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay
Get rid of that hold out
Ah, but it's cold
Outside